| Stuff I Learned The Hard Way |
| by Elasait ingen Diarmata |
This appears, in somewhat more polished form, in the *Calontir
Seneschal's Handbook*, 5th edition, c. 1999. While I did not write the entire
handbook, I wrote this part; it's my fault therefore. The intended audience was,
of course, Calontir local branch seneschals. If anyone finds any of this
valuable, they can pass it on in whole or part, as long as the individual
point(s) quoted remains intact and I'm listed as the author.
-Elasait ingen
Diarmata, ex-kingdom seneschal
Stuff I Learned The Hard
Way
by Elasait ingen Diarmata
*The 72-hour rule: If someone contacts you and describes a major
problem, particularly one that's clearly interpersonal in nature, you don't have
to act right away. Take time to mull it over before you do anything. Half the
time, the crisis will blow over in a few days. (This doesn't mean it won't
resurface later, under a different form.)
*Distinguish between calls for
action and a desire to vent. Lots of people who contact you just want to vent at
someone. Vents don't necessarily need action on your part, beyond
listening.
*Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately
explained by stupidity. Never attribute to stupidity that which can be
adequately explained by poor communication. Always assume communication failure,
even if it looks unlikely. (Elasait's corollary to Hanlon's razor)
*Never
let your boss be surprised. If you think it might come to the attention of the
Kingdom Seneschal, *you* be the first to contact them--or, at the very least,
contact your regional reporting deputy and let them contact the kingdom
seneschal!
*Burnout can be insidious. I didn't realize how badly I wanted
out of the local seneschal's office until I found myself, immediately after
turning over the office, skipping out of the feast hall shouting, "I'm free, I'm
free, I'm free!"
*Kingdom and regional officers are resources; use them.
They don't bite, and they're there to help.
*It's more important to fix
problems than blame. Or, to use the "dead fish" analogy created by Mistress
Hilary of Serendip, long-time Steward (now called Seneschal) of the Society:
When you have a dead fish lying on the carpet, if you spend all your time trying
to find out who left it there, it will only grow more and more smelly. Your
first order of business is to appropriately dispose of the fish.
*Don't
reinvent the wheel. It's likely someone else has had the same problem you're
having. This is also why you shouldn't hesitate to consult your superior
officers.
*Some people just live to complain. There will be a small
minority of folks who won't be happy no matter what course of action is decided
upon. They won't offer suggestions (constructive or otherwise) or express their
opinions *when given the opportunity*, but will wait until a decision has been
made and then complain about how they weren't consulted, or they could have told
you it wouldn't work, or the "powers that be" have to have everything their
way.
*Anytime anyone begins a statement with the phrase, "People are
saying..." it usually means that's what *that person* is saying. Take it with as
much salt as needed.
*Beware the prophet who preaches the One True Way.
The SCA is a broad organization, and there are many, many ways to play the game.
This doesn't mean you have to tolerate Elf-ears Vampiresson showing up in a
spandex Civil War outfit; but as long as someone's version of the game isn't in
contradiction with the governing documents or kingdom law and policy, it's to be
permitted. Other people will either flock to that version of the game, or they
won't.
*It's worth trying to regard "problem entities" as people with
misdirected energy. Sometimes your "problem child" is actually someone who cares
passionately about some aspect of the organization, or really wants to make a
contribution, but doesn't know how or feels ignored. Cast about and see if you
can come up with a project for your problem child. This won't always work, but
it's worth a try.
*Don't assume. Anything. A close look at the word tells
you what it can make out of all of us.
*Perceptions, even erroneous ones,
look like reality to some people; and left unchecked, they have a way, over
time, of *becoming* reality. They are more important than you
think--unfortunate, but true. Don't ignore them.
*If you must use an iron
fist, put a velvet glove on it if at all possible. You really will get farther
by being pleasant and agreeable, and demonstrating interest in people's
concerns.
*While it may be gratifying, in the short term, to give in to
the impulse to tell someone exactly what you think of their intelligence,
personality, parentage, etc., or to indulge in backbiting and innuendo when
those around you are doing so, it's rarely worth the cost. Ultimately, this game
is won on what, for lack of a better term, I call "graciousness points." This is
doubly true of officers, and quadruply true of seneschals.
*Never suppose
you're too unimportant for somebody to take what you say as an Official
Pronouncement--and always at the worst possible moment.
*If you're not
(mostly) enjoying what you're doing, then you're not doing the right thing. Yes,
this is true even of officers. Holding office is a big responsibility, and can
be a burden, but it can also be a delight. If doing what you're doing causes you
no joy, arrange to stop doing it.
*Being able to make soothing noises
over the phone is an invaluable skill.
*When (not if) you make a mistake,
the best approach is to swallow your pride and own up to it readily. Apologize
where appropriate, take whatever beating you've got coming with as much grace as
you can muster, do what you can to make things right, and file whatever you've
learned for future reference.
*If someone comes up with a really stupid
idea, assign *them* to carry it out. Nine times out of ten you will never hear
from them or the idea again. (Thanks to Master Stephen Ironhand, first seneschal
of the then-shire of Three Rivers, for this valuable and time-tested
rule!)